I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
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Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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