I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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