I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
