It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i think i have herpe
just one?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Randomize
