Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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