He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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