why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Randomize
