I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
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He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
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My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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