Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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