lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
