summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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