$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
