I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Randomize
