I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
