the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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