I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize