who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Randomize
