you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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