help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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