he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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