Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
