I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
