I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
