fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
