My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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