please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
