You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
