he wants to bone in the snuggie
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
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That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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