I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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