If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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