my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
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