Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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