hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
