Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm jealous of your bromance
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize