Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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