She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
