you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
