he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
