Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?