I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
