He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
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