I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
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