We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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