do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
The uberlube is also flammable
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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