My nipple is on Facebook.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize