Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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