New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
