How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.