Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
