Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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