I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
