office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
