the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
home. puking in laundry basket.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
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