me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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