I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Who died my cat blue again?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
