I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize