Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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