I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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