I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize