I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
